March 28, 2015

From My Heart

These days, posts are few and far between in this space. It isn't because I don't enjoy blogging anymore, not at all; in fact, I'm constantly "writing" posts in my head and dreaming of sitting at the computer with the post editor open, creating and expressing myself through this medium. Blogging is actually something that shows up in all of my dreams of the future, a big part of my life and my career.

Recently, I've felt such a deep longing to write again here, in a more consistent way. At the same time though, I've felt stuck. So completely stuck. At the end of February, I made an editorial calendar for the entire month of March, and I had planned 3 posts for every week. I created only one of those 13 posts - the one where I talked about becoming an online shop owner - but I opened this blank text box so many times trying to fill it up with words and pictures, with no success.

You see, what's probably even more important to me than consistency in this space, is authenticity. I've been immersed in this blogging world for long enough to know what I like about my favourite blogs and what I'd like to emulate in my own. And powering through, talking about kind travelling or natural face products I use and love, like I had planned, just didn't feel authentic when all of my time, energy and thoughts are taken over by other, deeper and more challenging issues. Sure, these are things that I am still very much interested in writing about at some point, just not right now, when most days I feel like I'm just trying to keep my head above the water.

These last few weeks and months have challenged me in many ways. I've been spending my days working at a full-time job that, although I enjoy, has been demanding so much more than a full-time commitment from me. I've been using the little time I have outside of that job to build my own business, to focus on my self-care (not always with success) and to spend time with the most important people in this world to me, my family. I've been taking care, alongside my family, of a sweet pup that has been dealing with health issues for over two months now (and for whom, thankfully, we finally found answers last week, so things are starting to look up). I've been adjusting to life without one of the handful of women who inspired me the most and who completely changed the course of my life for the better - something that took me completely by surprise in how much it has affected me - while still constantly learning from her. All of this - and more - has happened through one of the most frigid winters we've had, that has been tough on the body and mind of this summer-loving girl.

I'd love to write more about each of these things, and I probably will, slowly, along the way, as I take time to think them through and to make sense of them for myself enough to turn the jumbled mess that's swirling in my head right now into a series of thoughts and sentences that make sense to everyone else too.

I've been craving to write some more light-hearted posts as well, where I can put some words and pictures together in a way that is still valuable enough for you to take time out of your day to read and that allows me to express my own creativity and views of the world. With all that has been going on, this is where I have gotten stuck a lot, not just because my thoughts have been taken over by the heavier stuff, but because long days at the office don't make for very many photo opportunities, so my digital camera has remained home and my phone camera has stayed neatly tucked into my coat pocket.

At this point though, I'm very optimistic about what lies ahead, both because some of these issues are starting to get resolved (spring is here and warmer days are on the horizon, and the pup is getting back his health, energy and playfulness too!) but because I've come across a message that has been shifting my perspective. 

The idea that life is beautiful no matter what we are faced with has shown up for me in so many forms lately that I can't help but take notice and explore the meaning of it. I know that not every challenging thing is going to magically disappear from my life and that I cannot control what will happen in the future (good or bad) but I'm learning that I can take control over how I react and how I let these things affect me and more importantly, I'm learning to enjoy or at least appreciate all of them - especially the tough ones - for what they are because they are such an essential part of our experience of life. 

What I am most looking forward to though, is sharing all these experiences here because the most important lesson I have finally learned recently is that everything is better when you're part of a supportive community.

So, I'll end this on a positive note, by saying thank you for being here and reading these words - whether you're a long-time reader, a recent one or just someone who happened upon this page through a Google search that seems completely unrelated to the content on this site - and wishing you a wonderful spring ahead!

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